Queerfully and wonderfully made*—
(*title not original to me)
The best way to begin is usually by listening. In our case, listening to the voices of LGBTQ+ folks, telling their own authentic truth, will help us move toward understanding. So we began by reading a moving passage from Jennifer Finney Boylan’s memoir, She’s Not There.
"Since then, the awareness that I was in the wrong body, living the wrong life, was never out of my conscious mind—never, although my understanding of what it meant to be a boy or a girl, was something that changed over time. Still, the conviction was present during my piano lessons with Mr. Henderson and it was there when my father and I shot off model rockets, and it was there years later when I took the SAT and it was there in the middle of the night when I woke in my dormitory at Wesleyan. And in every moment as I lived my life, I countered this awareness with an exasperated companion thought, namely, Don't be an idiot. You're not a girl. Get over it... But I never got over it.”
Speaking the Same Language
Another part of understanding is making sure we mean the same thing by the words we use. Language is always shifting, which can lead to miscommunication. Some general principles from Austen Hartke’s book Transforming:
#1. There’s a huge variety in the way LGBTQI2A people describe who they are. It can feel comforting to have strict definitions, but language is constantly changing, definitions shift in order to become more accurate or for different contexts.
#2: Always prioritize the definition given by the person standing in front of you. That person understands their own identity better than anyone else, and it’s a gift to be able to learn from them.
With those important caveats, we review some basic terminology adapted from the 2nd edition of Transforming. (A helpful visual is the Genderbread Person, found at https://www.itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2018/10/the-genderbread-person-v4/)
1. Be aware of different definitions of "gay"— LGBTQ+ folks generally use it to refer to orientation rather than behavior.
2. There are generational differences in the use of the term "queer.” Older folks may hear it as an offensive slur, while younger people tend to hear it as an affirmation of group identity. It can also be used as a verb "queering."
3. Some groups try to make a distinction between "same sex attracted “and "gay,” although there really is no difference. The effort is often related to conversion therapy– attempts to change one’s sexual orientation. The APA has banned conversion therapy because studies show not only is it ineffective—it's harmful.
4. Be aware of the difference between gender and orientation. Your sexual or affectional orientation is about whom you are sexually and romantically attracted to, gender has to do with your innate sense of self.
5. The gender binary is a social system in which it is assumed that all people can be divided into one of two genders. It is the norm in white, Western contexts, but other cultures may distinguish between up to seven different genders.
6. A transgender person is someone whose gender identity does not match the sex they were assigned at birth.
7. A cisgender person is someone whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth, even if expressed in ways that aren’t typical for their gender.
8. People who dress or act in a way that is not typical of their assigned sex in their particular culture may be called gender-nonconforming or gender-expansive.
9. A nonbinary person is someone who isn’t either a man or a woman, who has a gender identity that’s between or beyond those definitions.
10. Some outdated terms: mtf, ftm (male to female, female to male) and afab, amab (assigned female at birth, assigned male). Instead simply say trans man/woman.
The Widening of God’s Mercy, ch. 1-3
Christopher Hays invites us to consider the picture we have of God. Is it an all-controlling, all-knowing, Calvinist God—one who never wavers, never varies? What is the fruit of seeing God as an angry and unyielding deity?
In contrast, he tells the story of a gay friend who kept a coloring page a Sunday school teacher gave him as a child that said “God don’t make no junk”: “He hid it under his bed. He would take it out occasionally, when he needed a reminder that he had been created as he was, and he’s never forgotten it. No one forgets when the church manifests the love and joy that God feels toward creation; nor do they forget when it doesn’t.”
In the following chapters, we consider several stories that present a very different picture of God– one that is moved and responsive to human action, able to change their mind. It begins in Genesis when the Lord seemingly changed their mind about carrying through with the threat that Adam and Eve would die if they eat of the forbidden tree. We see God changing their mind about humanity after the worldwide flood. In Jonah, God’s mind is changed about the destruction of Ninevah.
God even seems to change their mind about biblical laws, permitting people to question laws that seem unjust. In the book of Numbers, the daughters of Zelophehad question the law that prevented them from inheriting their fathers land. Similarly, Job defended himself before God against the charge that some hidden sin caused his calamity.
Hays writes, “These stories are, at bottom, characterized by a good-natured, if weary, sense of humor about humanity, and about God’s relationship to us... (they show) God’s propensity to relent from punishment, to show mercy even at the cost of changing his mind and bending his principles of justice... God’s plan for the world is broader than some think...
“These are not special cases! There are many, many places where Old Testament laws on the same topic in different collections disagree with each other... (suggesting that) the diversity and disagreements within the biblical laws are not an accident or an embarrassing error caught by pesky scholars. This story shows God himself taking part in reinterpreting and outright revising existing practices. In the Bible, God seems less troubled by change than his spokesmen are...
“There are many ways to be faithful, but this is one of the most important: to know that God listens, cares, and responds; to know that God is just and is open to widening his justice and mercy; and to act on that knowledge despite the resistance that the world can throw up... Although conservative religious leaders today may act as if challenges are threats to the community, to its faith, and even to God Himself, ironically it is just such challenges that enable the church to endure.”
Science and Gender Identity
This ability to see God as changing and adapting can help guide the church’s ability to reconsider long-held practices around sexuality and gender.
The Bible does not address gender identity directly—and that's important. When the Bible is silent, we can lean into the general instructions on love, and learn from what science can tell us. We can learn from science that gender in animals is not as binary as we think: there are species with multiple genders, animals able to change their gender, as well as animals that are intersex. Similarly, gender in humans is not as binary as it appears, even on chromosomal level, with 1-2% of the world’s population being neither xx nor xy. We have many historical records of trans and nonbinary people, including many indigenous cultures which celebrate "two spirit" peoples.
Gender diversity may seem to be rising now, not because it's more prevalent but because there is more awareness so that people have a name for what they are experiencing (Jennifer Boylan’s memoir describes this well). While there is considerable and disturbing backlash, there is more acceptance today, making it easier to come out as gender diverse. The rise of puberty blockers allows youth who are experiencing gender dysphoria to put a pause on puberty and the development of secondary sex characteristics.
Gender can be compared to handedness. We don't decide to be right or left handed, we discover it. It's something intrinsic to who we are. When we use the non-dominant hand it just feels wrong. Something doesn’t seem to fit.
And yet, both state and federal trans-exclusionary bills have increased in recent years. Conservative Christian groups have aided this effort, often spreading misinformation. As a result, nearly half of respondents to the US TransSurvey have considered moving to another state due to anti-trans laws. According to a study by the Trevor Project, these laws have caused up to a 72% increase in suicide attempts among transgender and nonbinary youth. Of particular concern is President Trump’s 2025 executive order: “It is the policy of the United States to recognize two sexes, male and female. These sexes are not changeable and are grounded in fundamental and incontrovertible reality.” The impact of this decision has been broad and heartbreaking.
But there is hope. Transgender and nonbinary youth who reported having at least one gender-affirming space had a 25% reduction in reports of a suicide attempt in the past year. That means that the hard work we are doing can be literally life saving.
Queerfully and Wonderfully Made: Gen. 1:1-27
There is no clear clobber verse denouncing trans or nonbinary Christians. The passage most often used to exclude gender diversity is Genesis 1, because it seems at face value to be reinforcing a gender binary as part of God’s intent for creation. The passage describes creation in terms of a series of contrasts: light/dark, day/night, water/sky, water/dry land, culminating in vs. 26-27:
Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, to be like us. Let them be stewards of the fish in the sea, the birds of the air, the cattle, the wild animals, and everything that crawls on the ground.” Humankind was created as God’s reflection: in the divine image God created them; female and male, God made them.
So we see the creation account contains many pairs that seem at first like binaries— dark/light; day/night, sky/sea, dry land/sea. Yet each of these binaries is, in fact, not a binary but rather a polarity. They describe two endpoints on a continuum. We have dark and light—but we also twilight, dawn, all sorts of times when light is dim. We have day and night—but all sorts of times between noon and midnight: evening, morning. We have dry land and sea but also swamps and bogs and wetlands. It's a figure of speech called a "merism," similar to the phrase "I searched high and low." In the same way, science has shown us, male and female are not binary, but rather two endpoints in a continuum of gender identity and gender expression.
We intuitively get this continuum with light and with time–no one needs to explain to us that afternoon and morning are included in light/dark, day/night. So why is it that we read male and female as binary?
A helpful explanation is offered by Episcopal priest Tara Soughers in her book Beyond a Binary God: "Binary pairs are useful for simplifying large amounts of information we are required to process. It's developmentally appropriate for young children to think in binary terms… (but) most of us have learned that binaries are limiting and in many cases are inadequate to describe the world around us...
"However, there are some binaries that seem to be difficult for us to let go of. Often, these are categories around identity: who is who, and how different groups are valued… these binaries are much harder for us to ignore, as they serve to mark the boundaries between those who are like us and those who are not. Marketing, politics, and the legal system all tend to reinforce these markers of identity, privileging some at the expense of others. While many people fall between the extremes, we often act as if there is an obvious dividing line."
We can observe similar “us/them” arbitrary divisions in our culture today: Republican/Democrat, white/black, immigrant/native born, rich/poor, or liberal/conservative. This tendency to think in binaries—especially with groups of people—is hard-wired in us. It feels unified because it reinforces group identity—even as it leads to greater division and hatred. Perhaps one reason (besides scapegoating) that the trans community is under attack right now has to do with this identity piece. For Christian nationalists who are trying to preserve white male priority, the presence of nonbinary folks may be a challenge to their identity and purpose.
But one of the true gifts of trans and nonbinary inclusion is the way it pushes us to think beyond us/them. Returning to Gen. 1:26-27: Humankind was created as God’s reflection: in the divine image God created them; female and male, God made them.
Soughers notes that "the writers of the first creation story were expressing their belief that both men and women image God, a radical idea in a time when women were often seen as inferior, derivative, or even property. Their insistence upon naming the two genders seems to have been an attempt to expand those who were seen as being made in God's image, not narrow it." She goes on to say: "We learn from this that human beings are complicated. We often try to make things simple—either/or– but humans rarely fit neatly into binary categories. In creating human nature, God seems to have delighted in complexity rather than simplicity."
Our experience in the world and creation is that our gender identity does seems to be innate—which means, God did make us the way we are—including people who don't fit the gender binary. The Genesis creation story ends in v. 31: God saw all that was made and it was very good.
Genesis 1 is a celebration of diversity. We see this intuitively as we walk through a forest, alongside the ocean or through a beautiful garden. We delight in the diversity of flowers, of wildlife, of beauty. This is no less true with the diversity of human beings. It is a holy and wonderful thing to celebrate all that beautiful uniqueness. The inclusion of trans and nonbinary folks in our faith communities helps us celebrate and expand our understanding of ourselves and of God’s own self.
Why We Gather
This is important and holy work. There are so many benefits from adopting an affirming theology– a clear, consistent theology that makes sense and intuitively fits our picture of Jesus as loving and inclusive. When we feel bound to a theology that doesn't make sense, we train ourselves to ignore cognitive dissonance, which distances us from God. Heart is separated from head. But when we adopt a consistent theology—one that makes sense of our lived experience of the world—our faith becomes real and invigorating. You can see it lived out in real terms.
Finally, the fruit of affirming theology is that families are made whole—both individual families, and our church family. We are meant to be one—all are included, all are invited in.
God of endless wonder,
The world you created is incredible. The vastness of the universe, the diversity of life itself. We are amazed. And of all the complex and wonderful things you have created, perhaps people are the most incredible.
Forgive us for the urge to tame all this overwhelming complexity into bite-size pieces. Forgive us for thinking we can create artificial barriers between "us" and "them." Help us instead to simply marvel at the wildness and beauty of all you have created. Amen.