Holding Faith with our Transgender Neighbors—Week 4: The Gifts They Bring
The gifts transgender and nonbinary folks bring:
We began our final session by checking in on this week’s homework. We shared how healing and powerful it is to engage in this simple practice: for every person you see this week say (silently): you are holy and beautiful. It shifts how we view the world and our fellow humans. Don’t forget to say it to yourself, too!
Our empathy exercise was essay by Rebekah Brueshehoff, talking about what it was like growing up as a transperson in a church that affirmed, loved and supported her as her true self. We also read from an essay by her mom, Jamie Bruesehoff, focusing on the gifts that transgender folks bring to our faith communities.
Pew research suggests that 29% of LGBTQ folks have been made to feel unwelcome in their religious spaces, and one fourth have left their tradition due to negative messages. But the odd thing is, half of all queer adults claim a religious affiliation, and 17% claim religion is very important in their lives. Excluding their presence and gifts robs our faith communities of the fullness of all the Spirit wants to give us. We are reminded of these powerful words by the apostle Paul from Gal. 3:28: There is no longer Jew or Greek; there is no longer slave or free; there is no longer male and female, for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.
Author and Episcopal priest Tara Soughers reminds us why diversity in our churches is so important. She writes that if we exclude the transgender community: “Our congregations might be a lot more comfortable, but we would be missing their gifts. We would miss the individual gifts that God has given each and every one of them. We would also miss the gift that God gave to the trans community for our sake, for in their diversity, their challenge to binary forms of gender, they call us to imagine God in ways that break us out of those binary boxes in which we have tried to stuff not only humankind, but God as well. They remind us that human beings, made in the image and likeness of God... are complex, mysterious, and beyond our attempts to simplify them into easily managed categories... trans people challenge us to live up to Christ’s admonition to love on another.”
Politics and the Trans community:
And yet, despite the gifts they bring, the trans and nonbinary community is under attack on both the state and federal level. Trans-exclusionary bills became more intense after Justice Dept decisions in 2015 and 2020 that title 9 applies to gender identity. Conservative Christian social action groups—the Alliance Defending Freedom, the Family Research Council, and Focus on the Family—were instrumental in opposing the order and spreading misinformation. As a result, nearly half of respondents to the US TransSurvey have considered moving to another state due to anti-trans laws. According to a study by the Trevor Project, anti-transgender laws have caused up to a 72% increase in suicide attempts among transgender and nonbinary youth.
Of particular concern is President Trump’s 2025 executive order:
“It is the policy of the United States to recognize two sexes, male and female. These sexes are not changeable and are grounded in fundamental and incontrovertible reality.” The order defines terms like “man” and “woman” based on whether a person “at conception” belongs “to the sex that produces the large reproductive cell” or that “produces the small reproductive cell.” It then directs federal agencies to “enforce laws governing sex-based rights, protections, opportunities, and accommodations” using these restrictive definitions. The order also includes a sweeping mandate to all agencies to “end the Federal funding of gender ideology.”
The impact of this decision has been broad and heartbreaking. Four areas in particular that are affected:
1. Prisons: more than 2,000 transgender people are currently held in federal custody. The order specifically calls on the Federal Bureau of Prisons (BOP) and the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) to ignore the guidelines of the Prison Rape Elimination Act (PREA) and enforce a blanket policy forcing transgender women into men’s prisons and detention centers against their will. This puts them at a severely heightened risk of sexual assault and abuse. The order also mandates that BOP withdraw critical health care from trans people in federal prison.
2. U.S. passports. Transgender people frequently update the sex designation on birth certificates, driver’s licenses, and passports to reflect their gender identity. All applications for gender change are now “suspended” by the State Dept. Requiring transgender peoples’ passports to show the sex they were assigned at birth effectively outs them as transgender whenever they have to present the document. Because people have to provide their existing passport and other documents to update their passport, if people attempt to update the sex designation on their passport now, they run the risk of not having a valid passport at all.
3. Education. The decision impacts the use of trans and nonbinary student’s preferred names and pronouns. The order bans basic gender identity education and requires forcibly outing trans students to their parents, which in some cases may lead to harm.
4. Athletics: The order bars trans athletes from competing according to their gender identity. This aspect of the ruling in particular has proved controversial. But there is research that can help cut through the rhetoric and political agenda: A comprehensive 2023 review by Asst Professor D.J. Oberlin at Lehman College examined the impact of gender-affirming hormone therapy on athletic performance and concluded that “an individual’s sex does not determine their success or failure at any athletic event despite the high level of competition.” It found great variations among cisgender athletes, such as differences in height, weight, training, etc.
In 2024, a study funded by the International Olympic Committee, published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine found:
• Transgender women performed worse than cisgender women in tests measuring lower-body strength and lung function.
• Transgender women had a higher percentage of fat mass, lower fat-free mass, and weaker handgrip strength compared to cisgender men.
• Transgender women’s bone density was found to be equivalent to that of cisgender women, which is linked to muscle strength.
These science-based studies show us that after hormone therapy, trans women’s performance aligns more closely with that of cis women. Competitive athletic advantage is complex and influenced by many factors, including training, skill, and individual physiology—not just gender identity. Transgender women are likely to be at a physical disadvantage compared to cisgender athletes.
As we look at all these concerning developments, there are several ways faith communities can respond: letter-writing campaigns, being a presence at local protests, getting involved in transgender-affirming political advocacy and donating to organizations like The Human Rights Campaign.
What can we do? What are the next faithful steps?
Author Austen Hartke, in his book, Transforming, gives us several practical suggestions of how we can get be an advocate and ally for our transgender friends, family, neighbors and church members. All these suggestions are drawn from p. 206-211 of the 2nd ed of Hartke’s book. Look over the list and ask yourself: what is the next faithful step for you as an individual? As a faith community? Commit to moving forward.
Suggestions to get started as an inclusive faith community:
1. Write a statement of welcome or affirmation that explicitly includes gender-diverse people.
2. Join a LGBTQ+ advocacy group (e.g. ReconcilingWorks Lutherans, More Light Presbyterians, Covenant Network of Presbyterians, Reconciling Ministries Network in the United Methodist Church, Welcoming and Affirming Baptists, or Call to Action Catholics).
3. Hold a liturgy for Transgender Day of Remembrance (Nov. 20) and celebrate Transgender Day of Visibility (Mar. 31). Many of the organizations listed above have resources for these occasions. Even a simple practice such as lifting up prayerfully the names and stories of our transgender friends and family is powerful.
4. Offer continuing education classes on topics related to gender and gender identity.
5. Have a presence at your nearest LGBTQI2A Pride celebration.
6. Encourage participation and leadership of transgender people in the life of the church.
7. Have prayers and/or liturgy available for name changes, preparation for surgery, preparation for hormone therapy and coming out/inviting in. Again, many of the organizations listed above have resources for these occasions.
8. Create a gender-neutral restroom in your church building. If you have a single-occupant restroom in the building, all you have to do is change the sign.
9. Use inclusive language for the congregation (e.g. siblings in Christ rather than brothers and sisters) in sermons, liturgies, bulletins & fliers. Use gender-expansive pronouns and names for God (e.g.: Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer).
10. Make sure all church leaders—youth leaders especially—have had some training on gender diversity so they can respond compassionately and knowledgably when a transgender person visits or an existing member comes out.
Suggestions for individuals to support transgender and nonbinary people:
1. Educate yourself on the basics, and then keep going! Read the work of transgender educators, theologians, and justice workers.
2. Always use someone’s correct name and pronouns. If you’re not sure what pronouns someone uses, just ask. If you make a mistake, apologize, correct yourself and move on—no need to make a big deal. Practice pronouns that are new to you.
3. Move from gendered greetings like “good morning ladies” to “good morning folks.”
4. Practice interrupting negative conversation. If you hear someone speaking negatively about a transperson because of their gender identity, if it is safe to do so, consider stepping in and explaining why that’s not OK.
5. Don’t ask invasive questions about a person’s body or birth name.
6. Don’t out someone by talking about their trans identity with others.
7. Get involved in policy change, and stay aware of possible trans-exclusionary laws in your state and local government. Write letters to our elected officials and attend protests.
8. Offer to help transgender people navigate possible unsafe spaces like bathrooms and locker rooms. Sometimes having a buddy with you is the difference tween a fun night out and a trip to hospital.
9. Donate to organizations that help transgender people get access to affordable medical care, housing, safe jobs and legal advice. Bonus if the organization is led by trans people.
Suggestions for trans and nonbinary folks:
1. Give yourself permission to give and receive love from others, God and yourself. Connect with a community where you can receive love and support.
2. Practice self-care: spending so much time educating others and navigating life can be exhausting. Take time each day to rest, to journal, to pray, and to unplug from the bad news you see on news and social media.
3. Find a dialogue partner. Don’t get stuck in your own head, find a friend, therapist, or spiritual director to help you think things through and get another perspective.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. TransLifeline: 877/565-8860 in US and 877/330-6366 in Canada. Also Trevor Project.
Austen Hartke writes: “So what happens when transgender Christians are able to flourish and find community, and when churches are able to see the gifts that those trans Christians bring? First, the rates of violence against transgender people fall, because Christian groups are no longer advocating trans-exclusionary viewpoints and legislation. Then, the minority stress that transgender people experience weakens, because they live amid a community that supports them spiritually, physically, and emotionally. People who once walked away from Christianity because of the church’s negative treatment of LGBTQ+ individuals begin to come back, curious about the way grace is showing up in the midst of resurrected relationships… The church grows, the gospel spreads, kids get to grow up in love and in safety, and justice begins to roll down like water.
More importantly, when transgender Christians are accepted and celebrated in Christian communities... we become more than the sum of our parts. We get a preview of God’s kingdom here on earth... We say yes, individually and communally, to the love of God that seeks to bind us together, and we are transformed.”
Resources you can draw from:
General resources:
Glossary of terms: https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms
Suicide prevention: The Trevor Project (thetrevorproject.org)
Parental support: Serendipity/ MamaBears facebook page
Advocacy: https://pflag.org/
Transgender and Non-binary Gender Identity
Beyond Pink and Blue workshop
Jennifer Finney Boylan, She’s Not There: a Life in Two Genders.
SAP Netflix special by Mae Martin
Season 8, episode 5 of Call the Midwife on Netflix on intersex persons
Will and Harper, Netflix documentary
The Genderbread Person (genderbread.org)
Laurie Frankel, This is How it Always Is
Austen Hartke, Transforming
Tara Soughers, Beyond a Binary God
Gender-inclusive pronouns: https://uwm.edu/lgbtrc/support/gender-pronouns/
Finding an Affirming Church
https://www.gaychurch.org/find_a_church/
Upcoming book club: We first met Episcopal Bishop Mariann Budde as she opposed the president’s photo op at St. John’s Church in 2020. In January of 2025 at the inaugural prayer service, she begged the president to show mercy to those who were living in fear of what his presidency would bring, including the LGBTQ community. Bishop Budde’s compassion and strength were evident in her powerful words. Learn more in our free, online book club reading Bishop Budde’s book, How We Learn To Be Brave. Meeting Monday nights May 12-June 23 (off May 26). For more info or to register go to holdingfaith.org
Concluding prayer:
Madeleine L’Engle wrote “We draw people to Christ not by loudly discrediting what they believe, by telling them how wrong they are and how right we are, but by showing them a light that is so lovely that they want with all their hearts to know the source of it.” May you reflect the beautiful light of Jesus’ broad and inclusive, boundary-breaking love.
Loving God, We lift the concerns of our hearts, because we know you care about all these things—our communities, our families, our friendships.
We pray for youth who are struggling. Who are struggling with shame. Who feel they need to hide who they are. Who may not feel safe at school or sometimes even in their own homes. We pray for their protection. We pray for their hearts. We pray that they might know that they are worthy, beautiful, and loved. We pray that we might be someone who shows and reflects that to them.
We lift our friends and family—those transgender and nonbinary neighbors that are on our hearts.
As we bring all that we have learned close to our hearts, I ask that you draw near. I pray that our faith may become real as we lean into the truth of who you are.
Thank you for the beauty of this community, may we draw even deeper to you and one another as a reflection of your relentless, expansive grace.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.